


able

by undread



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Depression, Improper Animal Care, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Crush, Violent Thoughts, but the ishimondo is. minor at best, depressive episodes, i kinda antagonize mondo in this tbh, still dont know how to tag relationships as implied, uh, uh oh rot back at it again with fish metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28228155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undread/pseuds/undread
Summary: i can take my mind and i'm fine (fine, fine, fine)
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Kuwata Leon, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Kuwata Leon & Maizono Sayaka, Kuwata Leon/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	able

**Author's Note:**

> me: wow i am going to sit down and write keyman today :)  
> brain: fish metaphors  
> me, everytime: FISH METAPHORS
> 
> sorry for having not posted in a while. i haven't had a shit ton of motivation. started writing this a while ago, and then i just kinda... deflated. dfjdngejg

Sayaka gets him a pet fish. It's a carnival goldfish that she won on accident- it's not gonna last long and she knows. Carnival fish only ever last a few days. Leon appreciates it anyway.

Leon doesn't actually have a tank. He keeps it in a cereal bowl for a few days, and he actually feels kinda bad leaving it in there. It's such a small area and it can't see outside and he wonders if the fish will die before he can get it the right habitat. Carnival fish only ever last a few days. Leon had run to the local dollar store to get it food the night Sayaka gave it to him- he didn't want the small thing to starve. Sprinkling the flakes into the plain white bowl, he realizes he never named it. Sayaka never gave it a name either. He's really shit at naming things and doesn't have any ideas, so he leaves it unnamed for now. It's just... _the fish._ Carnival fish only ever last a few days anyway.

By the time he gets the bowl it's been a few days and the fish is surprisingly alive. He texts Sayaka that it survived, only to be messaged back with _"what fish?"_ Sayaka forgot about it. That must be sad, Leon thought, only ever being alive for a few weeks at most and then having people forget you exist. Leon sprinkles in a little extra food that night. He doesn't want to be forgotten. He won't forget his fish either. It's still unnamed, still just _the fish._ He'll think of a name soon. He feeds it when he gets up and when he goes to bed. Sometimes it's fed at 11 AM. Sometimes it's fed at 6 AM.

He goes to school and tells Sayaka about the fish, it's alive. She smiles and says _that's good_ but she doesn't really remember or care. She thought it would be dead by now. It's not her fish anymore anyway. Leon doesn't tell Mondo about the fish. Mondo is cool and hardcore and he's a lot of things, he's a biker and he might be dangerous but he's nice to Leon and Leon doesn't want to look lame to Mondo. He doesn't want to look lame to anyone, but especially not Mondo. He's a highschool boy with a highschool crush who he wants to impress and fish aren't really that impressive. So much about Leon isn't really that impressive. Mondo wouldn't be with someone who can't be bothered to get out of bed in the morning but Leon is willing to hide it all. Mondo talks about hanging out after school and it doesn't matter where or when, Leon agrees.

They go to a diner. It feels appropriate somehow, being in the diner with Mondo. They sit across from each other and order a malt, one, they share it, and Mondo reaches to hold his hand under the table because he's a big guy and he can reach good enough. Leon smiles wide and chuckles and he holds Mondo's hand back, he smiles and they talk about absolutely nothing and absolutely everything, none of it matters but all of it matters. Mondo leans over the table after taking a sip of the malt. "This was really cool, y'know? We should do this again sometime."

Leon doesn't even think before agreeing. He goes home and immediately plops down in his bed, kicking his legs and typing away at his phone, texting Mondo about how excited he is for their- date? Not date. Date sounds pretty official, it's more-so an outing. Mondo might not even like guys. Outing sounds kind of dorky but whatever it is, it's not a date. He feeds the fish a little extra that night. It's done nothing to deserve it but Leon is just in a good mood. He falls asleep thinking of Mondo as the tank's filter stirs gently.

He's late for school the next morning, but he still remembers to feed the fish. He sees Mondo and he smiles, he can't help but smile, he's thinking about the previous night and they're going out again. Well, "going out." Mondo asked if he could hang out at Leon's place. Leon says _yeah, sure, of course,_ even if he doesn't have much to do, because any time with Mondo is good time with Mondo, in his mind.

Sayaka came over, a few times, though it meant nothing. Mondo coming over has weight, though. Mondo coming over feels like a big deal. It is a big deal, it's a really big deal. Leon has nothing to do, aside from his guitar and his rolling papers. Mondo appreciates the rolling paper, at least, and he appreciates Leon's Netflix account. It's some movie about boys trying to get girls and it doesn't actually matter after a few minutes because Mondo wraps his arm around Leon's neck, and he's getting closer and they're-

Kissing. They're kissing. Leon feels like he's going to combust as Mondo's tongue runs over his bottom lip, but he doesn't combust, he just opens his mouth and Mondo wins a game of tonsil hockey. Mondo's arms move to the punk's waist and his hands grip Leon tight, maybe tight enough to bruise, and Leon doesn't mind at all. The redheads own arms slide around Mondo's neck, they're close together and they aren't even doing that much but it feels incredible already. Mondo grinds against Leon, hard, and Leon gasps. He won't admit to being a virgin, but he wonders if he's obvious about it anyway. Mondo moves a hand to tug down Leon's pants and it's all a pleasant haze from then on. Mondo is fast and hard and rough and Leon likes it, he thinks he does. Leon imagined his first time being softer, slower, maybe more special, but this is special in it's own right. This is still good, if only because it's with Mondo.

They hold each other afterwards. It feels tender, gentle. It's different from the sex itself and Leon loves it, he feels loved, he loves Mondo and in that moment Mondo loves him. Leon can barely walk but he feeds his fish anyway. Leon feels good so the fish can feel good too, Leon feels loved so the fish can feel loved too, if only for a second.

Leon wakes up and Mondo is gone. Leon doesn't feed the fish, he forgets to, he's texting Mondo and asking where the biker went. Mondo doesn't respond. He texts Sayaka.

_"His bike is here. Dunno where he is tho."_

That's fine. It's all fine, right? As long as Mondo's okay. Leon's driving to school and he's thinking about it, really. Mondo, he probably isn't used to being with dudes. It's okay to get nervous. And whatever they are now, boyfriends, maybe, it's okay to be nervous about that too. It's okay to not know what to do in a relationship. Leon doesn't really know what to do, but he and Mondo can find out together, right? Leon parks his car and pulls out his keys and he keeps mulling everything over. Mondo and him will be okay, they gotta be. Mondo was his first time, albeit unintentionally, and Leon liked him so much, they'd find something out, Leon liked him so much-

He's confused when he sees Mondo pulling Kiyotaka into the bathroom. He's confused, and then he sees Kiyotaka's face, sees the blush, the nervousness, and he's not confused anymore. Mondo didn't even notice Leon.

He feels sick.

Leon skips school that day. That day, and the next day, and the next day. Sayaka notices, she doesn't ask why but she checks on him, makes sure he's taking care of himself. Makes sure he's eating. He gets a few other stray texts. Hiro, Makoto, Hina. _Are you okay,_ they all ask, and no, of course he isn't, why would he be. The man he was head-over heels in love with fucked him and then forgot his existence the very next day. He kinda wants to shoot himself. He hopes, _hopes,_ that among the concerned messages he'll get one from Mondo. He doesn't. He hasn't fed the fish in days.

He wakes up to banging on his door. Groaning, he rolls out of bed, opens the door and sees Kiyotaka.

Leon slams the door on him.

"Leon, please wait!" He calls from outside. "Everyone in class is very worried about you! You-" he stumbles with his words. It's cute. He's cute. Innocent. It's no wonder Mondo liked him, he's clueless and Mondo apparently likes his boys dumb. "You don't have the best attendance, but it's unlike you to be gone for several days! I wanted to check on you and see if there was anything you needed help with."

He's kind. He's fucking kind. Leon hates that. Kiyotaka doesn't know what Leon saw and he doesn't know why Leon is so pissed. Leon imagines grabbing KIyotaka by his stupid short fucking hair and slamming his face into a wall. Imagines knocking out his teeth and seeing his gums bleed. Leon is so painfully jealous and Kiyotaka has no fucking idea, Leon would kill Kiyotaka right there if it meant Mondo would like him. Mondo won't ever like him though. Killing one boytoy won't make Mondo like another boytoy. Leon might as well be the dead one.

"He's using you," Leon says, and he can feel Kiyotaka's confusion radiating through the door.

"I'm- I'm sorry?"

"Mondo's fucking using you." It comes out like a laugh. Leon doesn't even know if it's true but he wants to believe it is. He wants to believe he's not alone in his pain, wants to believe Kiyotaka will hurt like Leon does. Fucking hardass would probably never even show it, if he did.

"I- I don't know what you mean." He doesn't, of course he doesn't, he's naïve. "Me and Mondo- we aren't, I mean-"

"I know what you two fucking did," Leon spits, he's mad, he forgets the wall and imagines bashing Kiyotaka's face in with his own hands. "I saw you go in the bathroom."

Kiyotaka's quiet. He gasps, after a second. He remembered. "I'm- I'm so sorry! I didn't know you saw us, I- that's- it was very-"

"Go away," Leon hisses. "Just... fucking go."

The fish is sleeping upside-down in it's tank. Leon collapses upside-down in his bed. Maybe if he's lucky, he'll suffocate. Kiyotaka doesn't leave though. The door handle jingles and shakes and Leon thinks about smashing Kiyotaka's face into it. "Please let me in," Kiyotaka requests, his voice isn't harsh or loud. It's genuine. "I want to talk. I understand if you're mad and you don't want to see me, but please... I want to talk."

Leon lets him in. Kiyotaka looks around. He focuses on the fish tank for a second before looking at Leon. Leon, who has been wearing the same T-shirt and boxers for... five days now? Leon, whose hair isn't slicked back and whose goatee is more like a beard. Kiyotaka doesn't comment on it but the look is enough and Leon is already considering throwing him out. Instead, he gestures to the bed. "Sit."

Kiyotaka does so, almost robotically. He's given an order and he follows it. He clears his throat, glancing around nervously before looking back at Leon. "What- what did you mean, when you said Mondo was using me?"

"For sex," Leon clarifies, he doesn't say anything else yet but he feels like that should be obvious.

"We-" He's ready to protest, but he remembers. Leon _knows._ "Mondo has been kind to me, I don't know why you would say that."

"He fucked me," Leon blurts out, grinding his teeth, of course Mondo was _kind,_ he's kind to the stupid innocent boy the way he was kind to Leon. "He literally fucked me the night before you two went in that fucking bathroom." Leon leaves out the mention of his virginity, as much as it hurts.

The hall monitor is frozen. "You two were... in a relationship?"

"We fucked. I liked him a lot, we did it, and then he ditched me." Leon flings himself onto the bed next to Kiyotaka and it creaks, the springs bouncing. "He's gonna ditch you too."

"Is that true?"

"Which part?"

"Him leaving me."

Leon doesn't know. Is it even his business? Not really. If Mondo is done with Leon then Leon shouldn't care about Mondo or Mondo's relationships at all, but he does, he feels hurt and betrayed and he wants Kiyotaka to hurt too. Kiyotaka didn't do anything wrong but he deserves to hurt still. The fish didn't do anything wrong and he can't hurt anymore. "Maybe," Leon decides, as much as he wants to say yes.

Kiyotaka is quiet. Maybe Leon was too harsh. Maybe he's overreacting. It's all said and done now anyway. "Your fish is dead," Kiyotaka comments, as little care and class as ever.

"I know."

"Did you feed it?"

"I forgot to."

The blackette pauses, before walking over and cracking the tank open, scooping the carcass of the fish out. "I would like to get you a new one."

Leon is confused, more than anything. "You wanna get me a new fish when I couldn't take care of the one I already had?" It doesn't make sense. He doesn't even understand why Kiyotaka is offering. They hardly know each other and within the first few minutes of them talking Leon fantasized about killing him and insisted his relationship would fall apart. Kiyotaka is kind and Leon hates it a little less. It's all just confusing.

"I think you deserve a second chance."

**Author's Note:**

> im so sad abt this fucking fish. i really like fish you guys
> 
> i kinda??? tried to???? imply smth at the end though it didnt quite work.


End file.
